I miss...

So I'm sitting up in my room, and can't sleep... listening to old songs because I can't find the new ones; I start to remember things from a time that seemed so long ago, but was in this year.

I remem
bered how I'd missed things.
How I'd misse
d feeling more free, how I'd missed falling, flying and the buzz that lasts for days.
How I'd misse
d sneaking back into the house at some bizarre hour only to get up an hour later for tafe, but still feeling refreshed.
I misse
d the way he made me feel good when he was so bad for me.
I miss speed
ing down the highway, singing some song with lyrics like, "I'm a brat, and I know everything, AND I TALK BACK!", Only to have him laugh, and make a face like his father, then for me to say something like, "It's true, and you love it!" then have him laugh harder.
I miss shoot
ing a text his way when I couldn't sleep only to find he couldn't either.
I miss looki
ng at him, and him having that wide smile, those cheeky eyes, right before he said "let's do it!"

I miss the way things were
but I don't miss him.


And what song made these thoughts pop into my head?

I hold an image of the ashtray girl
Of cigarette burns on my chest
I wrote a poem that described her world
And put our friendship to the test
And late at night
Whilst on all fours
She used to watch me kiss the floor
What's wrong with this picture?
What's wrong with this picture?

Farewell the ashtray girl
Forbidden snowflake
Beware this troubled world
Watch out for earthquakes
Goodbye to open sores
To broken semaphore
You know we miss her
We miss her picture

Sometimes it's fated
(We) Disintegrated it
For fear of growing old
Sometimes it's fated
(We) Assassinated it
For fear of growing old

Farewell the ashtray girl
Angelic fruitcake
Beware this troubled world
Control your intake
Goodbye to open sores
Goodbye and furthermore
You know we miss her
We miss her picture

....

Hang on
Though we try
It's gone
Hang on
Though we try
It's gone


Goodn
ight.
x.x.x