Lonely won't leave me alone

It feels like it's eating me up from the inside.

The depression is bad but the anxiety so much worse.

It's hard feeling nothing but a deep, dark disgusting pit.

Feeling like you ARE a pit, a useless being that is just a void

Then trying to hide it.

It's harder still to be a freak, to suffer from erratic attacks.

Why can't living just be easy, like it is for you?

At least the lonely doesn't eat you up.

As your external problems become internal and you feel the burn.

Stop the act, or we will all have to cut you up.

Drama fucking queen!

&It was just one of those times...

Enlarged heart and broken fist.

I felt like everything was going to smash into one billion pieces.

Then I found out I'd taken the wrong tram and by the time I actually got there, I found things worse than I'd been told.

There are moments in everyone's life that their hearts break in two, and most people don't talk about them.

I talk about mine. Not openly, but I do talk.

And then people say I don't, I won't, I shan't. I shrug it off as I have my own reasons.

What if he'd died that day? What if I fucked up that night at work and things went worse? What if we'd never arrived and that guy who OD'd on the side of the road just, passed? What if that train I was on that crashed into the back of that truck was that little bit faster, and we'd hit the truck that bit harder, and we derailed, and I died? At 15!? That would be so fucked.

I'm here for a reason, and I don't know what that is yet, but I do intend to wait it all out until it's done, and until I know.

My youthful romance could kill me sometimes, and moments like the for mentioned, could have done even more damage.