"Fuck this for a joke!"

I’m sick of taking it one day at a time!

I can’t work when I feel like this, I can’t hardly find the strength to face the day, I just want to roll over and go back to sleep, but I can never sleep either.

So sick of the way I’m living and it feels like I can’t change a thing. I’m alone, isolated from everyone and everything by either my will or someone else’s.

I know I shouldn’t complain, other people have it harder, but I feel like I’m in a deep, dark hole and there is no way out, every attempt just ends with me digging the hole deeper and deeper.

Every time I get to this stage I always suffer in silence, away from everyone else, until I am “better” and able to face things again, but everything is on top of me right now and I know my own pattern, I know that I must break it and I must step up and ask for help.

I feel like shrinking away from my problems would be easy, although it is the preferred option right now, its “easy” to pretend they don’t exist, that they never did, that I’m 100 per cent okay.

But is it really worth it? Is anything really worth it? Or should I just give up now and sink further into my discontent. What’s easy, it’s all too hard.